Ah, every Pakistani mother’s the same. They show as if they hate you, but they love you just as much. We really need to thank our moms for always being there for us, and for constantly ranting due to which us daughters become who we are.
Here’s a list of things every daughter can relate hearing from her Pakistani mother, and it’s hilarious!
- “Tum bohot moti ho!”
Every Pakistani mother says this to her daughter, like I mean mom, come on? Everything you see on T.V and magazines is photo-shopped. Besides, I got the genes from you. How do you expect me not to be the typical desi chubby?
2. “Tumhain khana nai banana ata”
Han because hum tou modern bachay hain na, parhayi karain ya khanay pakanay seekhain?
3. “Safayi nai karni ati tou karwa tou sakti ho na?”
We try to do that… but our mom’s going to end up finding some dust on the tea pot present on the top most corner of the kitchen cupboards and then we’re going to be bashed for it. Sigh.
4. “Har waqt bas tick tick tick karti rehti ho”
Agar phone use karna chor diya tou apki beti ke snapchat, instagram, twitter, aur facebook pe anay walay pindi boys k messages ka reply kon karega?
5. “Aur makeup karo, moun pe lanat par gayi hay!”
When you’re around the age of 17-18 and you get breakouts and try to hide them with makeup concealers…
6. “Aur chocolates khao, takeh aur moun pe phool nikal ayein”
Phool = acne
Is there anyone in the whole world who doesn’t want me to feel bad about growing up?
7. “Tumhari maa itni safayi pasand hay, tum dadkay wali side pe chali gayi ho!”
If I fail, dadkay ki side pe chali gayi houn.
If I’m fat, dadkay ki side pe chali gayi houn.
If I’m gonna die, dadkay ki side pe chali gayi houn.
Han agar top karliya hay tou nankay ki side pe gayi houn.
8. “Rotiyan banana seekh lo, aglay ghar jaa ke kiya karogi?”
Umm.. chefs rakhoungi?
9. “Acha sa tyaar hona, wahan Farkhanda aunty ka Doctor beta aya hoga”
BUT I DON’T WANT TO GET A RISHTA FROM THEIR FAMILY!!
10. “Yeh kiya fashion hay? Kandhay nangay karke phirna bhi koi tareeqa hay?”
Haye haye haye, meri typical desi ammi.
11. “Yeh sab tumhari dostoun ne tumhara dimagh kharab kiya hay, jab dekho bahir jana hay bahir jana hay!”
Haan, blame everything on my friends. Saahi jarahi hain.
12. When she sees your friends:
“Tum bachiyan tou itni pyaari ho, saleekay wali ho, sab bohot achi lagti ho mujhay! Bas hamari yeh Parveen he pagal hay sab ko ghalat raastay pe chalati hay.”
13. “‘Kuch parh likh lo, un-parh jaahil ko ajjkal kon pasand karta hay?
In actual terms: go to medical school.
14. “Itni parhayi karke kiya karna hay, shaadi ka waqt agaya hay”
But didn’t you tell me keh un-parh se koi shaadi nahien karta a few days ago?!
15. “Kabhi kissi ajnabi se baat nahien karni!”
Haan lekin kissi ajnabi se arranged marriage hosakti hay.
16. “Kiya matlab koi pasand nahien hay? University mai koi dhoondo!”
How do I find someone?! Jab facebook pe Mussadiq pasand tha, tab tou apko bara masla tha.
17. When you get sick:
“Haye ni! Meri bachi pe kissi ne kaala jaadu kara diya hay!”
18. When your phone buzzes late at night:
“Kis yaar ka phone araha hay?”
Oho mummy, its just Ayesha.
19. “Awara! Jahil! Badtameez! Maa ko agay se jawab deti ho?!”
Well, you kept asking keh “JAWAB DO MUJHAY!”
20. “Mera dimagh na kharab karo, jab shaadi hogi apne shohar ko kehna neya iPhone le ke de”
Well, who am I supposed to tell right now?!